Lenny walks into D.J.’s room and kicks the bed.
Lenny
Wake up. We’re gonna be late for home room…
DJ
D.J. grovels and puts his pillow over his head
Go away Lenny. What gives you the right to walk in my place before 5 o.clock?
Lenny
It’s 4:30 in the afternoon!
D.J.
Sits up and starts to piss in a bottle.
Ah!
Lenny
The bathroom is 30 feet away, you have to piss in a bottle. What if you have an accident?
D.J.
That hardly ever happens. Why you acting like your mother. How’s that going , living back home living with mom
Lenny
I want to kill myself. I can’t believe this is my life.
D.J.
I told you thirty years ago that your too ambitious. You would be happy doing nothing like I do.
Lenny
I don’t understand how you get by.
D.J.
I D.J. that’s why my name is D.J. and I look at the internet all day and they pay me.
Lenny
Who pays you?
D.J.
I’m not really sure who pays me. They just want me looking at what I’m looking at.
Lenny
How did you get that job again.
D.J.
I don’t even remember. I was the first kid with a computer, back when nobody had one. They wanted to know what kids do and they monitor me. I think whatever I look at, advertising people push to the rest of the country.
Lenny
The fate of the country is in the hands of a man whose hands shake when he’s pissing into a bottle because he’s too lazy to stumble to the toilet…
You gotta empty the bottle anyway. What’s the point.
D.J.
Who says. (He opens a closet revealing many bottles of piss)
Lenny
You are so sick
D.J.
Sick, but not living with my mother.
Lenny
Don’t remind me. Come on, Bingo is waiting for us.
D.J.
I’m ready
Lenny
You’re still wearing pajamas
D.J.
I know, I started wearing pajamas everywhere. It’s going to be a new fad
Lenny
Yeah, the fad is called “Lazy piece of Shit”
D.J.
I like that
